All You Never Wanted to Know About My Thoughts on Fish

An English town has banned a popular (and strange-sounding) sport due to it being "disrespectful to dead fish." I can generally appreciate the position of animal rights activists, even if I'm not quite as radical as some of them; after all, I like having my dogs and cats - and llamas, goats, even sometimes the sheep - around. However, it never occurred to me to worry about showing respect to a dead fish. Perhaps this is due to the fact that we managed to place a few of them in that state ourselves, and the added fact that the only burial those poor goldfish got was a quick flushing and a not terribly sorry "bye, Orange." Yes, I'm fairly certain we named one of our fish Orange. There was probably another named Pumpkin. And at some point, my Mom completely gave up on the idea of fish, and we graduated to hamsters. I think we found a friend's backyard to bury those in; they also did us the courtesy of living a full two years give or take. Small animals for a small apartment that we had at the time.

But I'm off my original topic. Fish. They were rather boring to keep. What little kid wants to sit and watch a fish float around when your dream is to be out playing fetch with a dog or cuddling with a cat? I could never hunt, not unless some horrible disaster happened and my life literally depended on it, but I've gone fishing and eaten the fish after. I wouldn't fish without an intent to eat - I don't appreciate thoughtless killing of anything, with a possible exception where mosquitoes and bees are concerned. I rarely fish even with an intent to eat, as the seafood restaurant downtown takes care of that desire rather nicely and much more conveniently.

Of course, it never occurred to me to stand on a wooden block and hit people with fish, either. Had I had the chance, large poles would have seemed much more convenient and less messy. And I suppose if any other, more likeable animal's remains were mutilated somehow after death it would seem a bit disgusting to me, something I could understand people complaining about. Then again, few people seem to have any problem with mounting anything. Despite my laughing at this article, perhaps there is a certain point up to which even an animal's remains ought to be treated respectfully - not, perhaps, with the care given to man, but with whatever might be due one of God's creatures. Whether this line is before or after the point of hitting others with fish I'll leave to someone more qualified to decide.